Lykemeporfavorous

First sighted: Beaches of Mancora, Peru

Distinguishable features: Ear to ear teeth flashing smile. Some reports of barely visible tears in one or both eyes.

Approachability: Be warned; easy to approach, much tougher to make an escape from.
 
Although physically indistinguishable from other members of the Gringosaur family, this species can be identified by the company (or lack of) that it keeps. Considered socially adventurous, but ultimately remarkably unsuccessful, the Lykemeporfavorous can be most commonly found ambling around the 'Gringo trail' alone. Observations however suggest that they are not naturally solitary beasts, and in fact, this situation seems to have been rather forced upon them.
Formerely, the Lykmeporfavorous was considered to have dangerously weak kneck muscles leading to a constant 'nodding' action, openly displayed when listening to other Gringosaurs. However current studies suggest it actually suffers from a mental weakness resulting in an inability to express original opinions, or to disagree with others. This appears to manifest itself as the constant 'head nodding' which is teamed with repetitive positive responses to almost everything being said by any other Gringosaurs present. This attempt to demonstrate 'agreement' and/or 'pleasure' in relation to the conversations of other Gringosaurs generally fails to win them any friends, respect or even that most sought after of prizes for the Lykmeporfavorous, a permanent place amongst a larger group. Instead this action often leads to other Gringosaurs merely turning their back and looking for more stimulating interaction elsewhere. Note the following case study observed by a team from Ecuador working in the downtown area of Lima:

Lykmeporfavorous: Hi guys, I'm Johntysaur, mind if i have a beer with you guys?
Other Gringosaur 1: Err..
Other Gringosaur 2: What?
L: So, what were you taking about before I rudely interrupted? Sorry about that by the way!
OG1: Err..Drum & Bass mate.
L: Ooh yes. Drum and Bass, I love Drum and Bass. I went to this Drum and Bass party once, it was brilliant!
OG2: Right. [To OG1] So anyway he's moved on now. Started remixin a load of stuff for the guy that puts on those Dubstep parties in Brighton.
L: Oh yes, Dubstep. I went to a Dubstep party once. Do you like Burial?
OG2: Err, nah mate. I prefer the more hectic side of things you know?
L: Ah yes hectic. Hectic things are always so craaaazy aren't they?...Aren't they?
OG1 & 2: ......
L: Another beer lads?

Recent developments have seen the ever more lonely Lykmeporfavorous amongst groups of native creatures smiling profusely whilst continuing to nod along, attempting to hide its complete lack of understanding of what is being said.Witness this recently observed example:

Lykmeporfavorous: Hola!
Native Creature1: ¿Eh? ¡¿Quien eres?!
Native Creature2: Parece como un Gringosaur no?
NC1: Excelente, el compra las cervevas, jaja!!
NC2: Jaja el hijo de puta no entende nada de nada, jaja!
NC1 [to L]: Eh gringo, dame tu plata, y voy a comprarnos unas cervezas!jaja.
L:  :-)
L:  :-)    :-)
NC1: Dale... De donde eres gringo?
L:  Si muy bien, gracias. :-)
....
NC1 & 2: Hijo de puta...

Despite these obvious examples of a severe failure to connect with either its peers, or indeed anyone or anything else, the Lykemeporfavorous is admired amongst scientists involved in studying the beasts. They have been almost universally impressed by its unusually thick skin, thought to have evolved during something known as 'the long winters of adolescence' in the colder, less forgiving areas of North America and Northern Europe.

The Flipflopadoraus

First sighted: Florianópolis, Brazil

Distinguishable features: Permanently prepared for summer.

Approachability: With caution, its thought they may be extremely hot to touch.

One the most common sub-species currently observed in South America, the Flipflopadoraus was also one of the first to be identified and classified. These beasts are easily distinguishable from other Gringosaurs thanks to one particular physical feature from which they also take their name. Their peculiarly evolved, seemingly detachable (at least partly) 'thong' or 'flip-flop' feet, make an unusual slapping sound against both the floor and the upper part of the creatures' foot which each step the Flipflopadoraus takes. It has been asumed that this particular species evolved close to the coast line, being as they are seemingly equiped for life near the water and in sunshine. Initial observations raised questions about the eye sight of these beasts. Their almost constantly visible eye protection led many to believe that changes in light may remain undetectabale to the Flipflopadoraus. Equally unsuitably prepared in terms of body protection, or this time lack of protection, the Flipflopadoraus is more scantily clad than many of its fellow Triassic to Cretaceous period Vertebrates. They are usually found with exposed lower legs and forearms, in keeping with their unusually evolved 'beach-feet'. Such observations were originally made during the Buenos Aires sunshine, and so the assumption was understanably made that this species could adapt to its surrounding climate. However, as first Autumn and then Winter inevitably set in, no change was noted. The species continued to flash its flesh, apparently ignorant to the sniggering glances and mocking cat-calls of the native creatures, themselves more suitably wrapped in heavily insulated, natural furs known as 'winturncoats'. Many forward thinking Scientists have however, been enormously impressed by the beasts' apparent ability to store heat absorbed in the summer, for use all through the winter months. In fact many of these green energy enthusiasts are now lobbying government and scientific agencies in a bid to win funding for research into how the Flipflopadoraus' powers of insulation and re-heating, may be harnessed by humans to help heat the homes of the future.

The Gringosaurs : A brief introduction

Hailing originally from Northern Europe, Australia and of course, North America, the Gringosaurs are a migrating species, long considered to be found almost exclusively in South-East Asia and Southern Europe as well as the larger Pacific Islands. They are unique from other life forms on Earth due to the peculiar behaviour patterns exhibited when Gringosaurs are removed from natural habitats: Many of Earth's species are observed attempting to assimilate or 'blend in' with unfamiliar surroundings, there-by appearing inconspicuous to potentialy dangerous foes; increasing their chances of survival. The Gringosaurs however, seem to revel in the opposite. Exaggerating elements of their natural behaviour, it appears that they somehow wish to boast of their unsuitability for successfully combating the inevitable challenges faced in unfamiliar territory. Something refered to unofficially as 'come-and-have-a-go-if-you-think-you're-hard-enough syndrome'. The result of such behaviour has lead many to cast scorn on the species for its lack of respect and cultural awareness with regards to other creatures, and environments. Some Naturalists have been less generous in their assesments, claiming the Gringosaurs consistantly trample unique cultures under foot wherever they step and should therefore be artificially confined to the land of their birth.[*]

Leading environmental and Zoological journals have recently produced evidence claiming, the species are spreading further afield in greater numbers.  There have of course always been Gringosaurs roaming South (and even more commonly Central) America, however in recent years the numbers have increased faster than you can say "I'm not a tourist, I'm a traveller". Large groups or 'Clans' of Gringosaurs, rather than solitary individuals, are now being spotted with alarming frequency. Some experts are now suggesting that this rapid increase is no mere shift of preferred location amongst Gringosaurs. In fact, something far more interesting is taking place within the Gringosaur world. Previously the species, whilst having easily identifiable common characteristics, could be split into groups based on both geographical origin, and their varied definitions of the word 'football'. With increased sightings and studying of the species in South America however, a new understanding is slowly beginning to develop. The latest observational research seems to suggest that there actually exists a multitude of distinct breeds of Gringosaur within the previously accepted three groupings (North American, Australian & Northern European). Even more intriguingly the Gringosaurs seem to have stronger bonds with those of the same breed, than they have with other members of the previoulsy defined groups. Meaning a complete re-classification of the species may be possible, and indeed necessary.

Some of the old patterns are however, still evident, and perhaps even more strongly observed in South America than in the traditional stomping grounds of these beasts. For example the unexplained tendency of the migrating Gringosaur to move South-North, or North-South (never East-West, or West to East); rarely returning to the same place twice, almost as though they are following some kind of trail [*II]. Equally evident in South America, as it is in South-East Asia, is the Gringosaurs' apparent distaste for and/or inability to assimilate with, local cultures to which they are exposed. Of course being of the pre-historic era inevitably means high culture is a problematic area for the Gringosaur, and one which, it is feared, may result in clashes with local species and environments.

The purpose of this blog then, will be to detail expected new findings in relation to the study of Gringosaurs in South America. Over the coming weeks we shall discuss firstly, the new breeds of Gringosaur as and when they are classified as such. This will take the form of detailing behaivour patterns and any observations deemed of note or importance in terms of gaining a greater understanding of the species. Later, when sufficient information has been gathered, we shall go on to examine the impact the Gringosaurs may be having on their environment both geographically and socio-culturally. Hopefully paving the way for debate as to how the Gringosaurs, and there behaviour in South America, should be seen in the context of different species increasingly sharing the same environments on our planet.

* see particualrly "Take your buckets out of Phuket" Ma Hla May (The Word Press, 2004), and "The Mercenaries of Venice" M. Angello David (Renaissancista Press, 1999)
*II Hence the use of the term 'Gringo-trail' coined by early observers of Gringosaur behaviour in the 1960s.